I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize