Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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