I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
