Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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