Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
