im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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