He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
soo... how was my night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize