he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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