Nicole vs. Life
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
