If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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