I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I wish i was in the wii world.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
