Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
