that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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