why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
