Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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