Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
