He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
