I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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