but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I understand Curling. That high.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
