If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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