You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize