sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
