Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
