Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
