In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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