He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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