I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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