If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
