Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
