Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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