did you get engaged???
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So. Much. Porn.
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