I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
People in love make me want to vomit
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I supernannyed him into submission
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
