I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
