i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
