Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
