Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
