I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
