Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
