Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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