Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
