just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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