five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
