Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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