Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
