I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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