I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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