are you so shy because you have an std?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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