It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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