Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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