he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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