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if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
