i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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