best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
