He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
