Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He passed out mid-signature
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
