so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
