I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
