Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
